Thanksgiving

About a year ago, Avi's article was published in his school newspaper on why it is forbidden for Jews to celebrate Thanksgiving. I told him at the time, he needed to have quoted authorities other than his big brother.

When I can scan the article, I'll post it. In the meantime, Avi's (and Menachem's) views on Thanksgiving continue not to prevail in what remains of our family.

Dream

Avi finally appeared in a dream. I guess that my dream this morning was inspired, in part, by the news story earlier this week that a Connecticut man is suing his local volunteer ambulance corps for having declared him dead after a lightning strike.

There he was, home from the hospital, the Sunday or Monday after having been declared dead. He was well, as if nothing had happened. I was naturally surprised, overjoyed and relieved that his death was not real, and that I had the chance to hug him and talk. I considered how to tell him what had been going through my mind during my few days of mourning.

The next morning, I found him sleeping with a blanket over his head. I uncovered him and I was relieved that he was okay.

In the meantime, Susie told me that she had known since last Friday, the day after Avi's declared death, that Avi was in fact alive.

I became angry and shouted, "And you didn't even think to tell me!"

Look for new photos in the coming months.

I plan to start posting pix of Avi in the coming weeks.

Every Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony at my synagogue...

...reminds me of Avi's. He stood in the same spot nearly three years ago to deliver his d'var torah ("speech"), as this season's b'nei mitzvah.

All the joys, hopes, dreams and "mazel tovs" of three years ago...

My Two Sons

Last night, each of my sons wore a white kittel.
Menachem became married.
Avi remains buried.

Menachem is at one with his new kallah (bride), Rochel.
Avi is at one with the earth.

Menachem's forehead was briefly daubed with ashes in memory of the Beit haMiqdash (Temple).
Avi lies amidst dust and ashes.

Menachem has his future ahead of him.
Avi has nothing.

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Chana, my daughter, looked beautiful yesterday, as was our new daughter, Rochel.
The photographer snapped their pictures, and those of the rest of our newly-joined families.

Avi will appear in no picture.

Imagining Avi at Menachem's Aufruf

As I had tried to do at Menachem's vort, I tried to imagine Avi at Menachem's aufruf and at the kiddush and luncheon at our home afterwards.

As before, it was a vain exercise. As much as I tried, I could not bring Avi back to life for him to interact with his older brother and friends.

Yet another experience that Avi was cheated out of.