Saturday, July 29, 2006

Basketball Tournament in Avi's Memory

ESPN's Steve Bunin is an organizer of the annual, community basketball tournamet in memory of Ari Grashin. For the latest information, please click on the title of this entry.

What follows is the flier that was distributed last week at Beth David Synagogue. To enlarge, please click on the image.

I wrote this blurb for the tournament:
Abraham Judah "Avi" Lapidus enjoyed playing basketball and was an avid fan of the Chicago Bulls, the Chicago Cubs, the Chicago Bears and ESPN. Avi was a smart basketball player. He knew fundamentals, especially how to protect the ball against more physically talented players.

Avi, who moved to West Hartford in 2000, was born in upstate New York on the fifth night of Chanuka in 1990, the son of Susan and Jay, and the brother of Menachem and Chana. He was a student at the Solomon Schechter Day Schools on Long Island and West Hartford and a graduate of the Sigel Hebrew Academy. At the time of his death on February 23, 2006, he was a freshman at the Hebrew High School of New England, a regular attendee of Beth David Synagogue, and an intern at a Rochester, NY-based web design company. Avi excelled in web design coding, Judaica, mathematics and writing.

Avi will always be remembered for his cheerfulness, brilliance, love of Judaism, sense of humor, and eagerness to help others. He will be missed by his family, his community and by others throughout the world whom he touched.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

The Fast of the 17th of Tammuz

The 17th of Tammuz is one of the for "minor" daylight-time fasts on the Jewish calendar. (Please click above if you need background info.) It's a fast that I normally don't observe, but I did so this year in his memory because he had observed all the fasts.

This past week, my mourning reverted to the intensity that I had felt during the Sheloshim. In addition, for at least a month, I've been reliving Avi's last days of life, from his last Shabbat through his time in the hospital.

Since last month, I've been working as the kashrut supervisor at the one-remaining kosher butcher in New Haven. To pass time, I help out by restocking and pricing goods. Yuval, the co-owner, asked me why I was not using a cart to bring out many boxes at a time, because I was doing extra work for no purpose.

I answered that there was no purpose in my finishing more quickly, because that would only leave me more free time to descend back into grieving.

Yuval, a native Israeli, understood too well. He comes from a country where mourning for children remains a way of life.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Triggers

My triggers for mourning come from a variety of places, whether it be last week's Time cover story on siblings or the clue "Icarus" in Saturday's NY Times crossword puzzle. Sometimes, its seeing Avi's favorite processed foods where I work, or finding myself one short for a minyan on a Saturday afternoon. Even a random event or thought can become a trigger.

Whatever the case, I find time to shed a tear when I'm alone, and then I just move on.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Avi did not want a tallis for his bar mitzvah...

...He wanted to wait for the day of his wedding, in accordance with the practice of a large segment of the Orthodox community.

He got his tallit sooner than he had wanted. He lies buried in one.




(In accordance with Jewish tradition, a deceased male is buried in a tallis, but with one of the four fringes cut off.)

Not a day goes by...

...that I don't shed tears. I think of Avi's love of life and of all his potential, now just lying in a grave.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Digital Pandemic has a wikipage for Avi

Avi's friends on Digital Pandemic started a wiki biographical page, which you may access by clicking above.

...And he heard the Voice speaking to him...

I've been agonizing about what to put on Avi's monument, besides the name and dates. How could anyone even attempt to captue the meaning of Avi's short but rich life in just a few words?

I can't, so my family chose a few words from Avi's Bar Mitzvah Torah reading, specifically the special portion for the Eight Day of Chanukah. The title of this entry is a translation of the Hebrew that will be carved into the stone.

Here is the complete verse:

Numbers 7:89, JPS 1917 translation:
"And when Moses went into the tent of meeting that He might speak with him, then he heard the Voice speaking unto him from above the ark-cover that was upon the ark of the testimony, from between the two cherubim; and He spoke unto him."

Avi's devotion to Judaism, to Torah and to his fellow human beings came at the behest of the Voice that spoke continuously to him. That Voice speaks to each of us, if only we would listen. Avi chose to listen.
Zichron Avraham Yehudah - Blogged