The Fast of the 17th of Tammuz

The 17th of Tammuz is one of the for "minor" daylight-time fasts on the Jewish calendar. (Please click above if you need background info.) It's a fast that I normally don't observe, but I did so this year in his memory because he had observed all the fasts.

This past week, my mourning reverted to the intensity that I had felt during the Sheloshim. In addition, for at least a month, I've been reliving Avi's last days of life, from his last Shabbat through his time in the hospital.

Since last month, I've been working as the kashrut supervisor at the one-remaining kosher butcher in New Haven. To pass time, I help out by restocking and pricing goods. Yuval, the co-owner, asked me why I was not using a cart to bring out many boxes at a time, because I was doing extra work for no purpose.

I answered that there was no purpose in my finishing more quickly, because that would only leave me more free time to descend back into grieving.

Yuval, a native Israeli, understood too well. He comes from a country where mourning for children remains a way of life.