"The Shrine"

My surviving children refer to the small table holding Avi's photos as "The Shrine."

Today's Hartford Courant has a feature about grief during the December holidays. It just so happens that "The Shrine" mirrors one of the quoted bereavement counselor's recommendations:

If you have lost a family member: Don't try to ignore the loss for fear that talking about it will make people sad. Wish said, "An important dead family member is never dead, so why pretend they are really dead? They may be corporally dead, but they are not emotionally dead."

Said Feldman, "Chances are if you are thinking about it, someone else is thinking about it too."

Find a way to commemorate or memorialize the lost family member, by including an extra place setting at the table, setting up photographs or encouraging people to share memories and perhaps funny stories about the person.

Feldman also said that as painful as a loss is, "remember that not all is lost." Try to focus not just on the emptiness of the holiday table, but also on who is still there, he said.