"Shehekheyanu"

It was with difficulty that I uttered the "Shehekheyanu" blessing, the last of three blessings, on lighting the Hanukiya on the first night of Hanuka yesterday.

Sure, I was kept alive and enabled to reach Hanuka, but Avi wasn't.
Hanuka last year was the last time that Avi was able to recite "Shehkheyanu."
He never will again.

I ended up reciting the words of the blessing, because Rabbi Adler had reminded me that Avi would not have wanted me to cease observing any mitzvah on his account. My reaching Hanuka this year has enabled me to help keep Avi's memory alive.