Going Through the Motions...

That's how I got through the beginning of the new year without Avi. I just mouthed the special liturgical additions that ask God to "remember us for life" and to "write us in the Book of Life." I avoided Unetane Tokef altogether on both days, going home right after the silent Musaph Amidah and returning later.

On my way to and from synagogue each time, I imagined what an almost-16-year-old Avi would have been like walking beside me. At times, I used his Mahzor, the one that he had wanted his name inscribed in, but that we did not have the opportunity to do.