Sunday, September 24, 2006

Going Through the Motions...

That's how I got through the beginning of the new year without Avi. I just mouthed the special liturgical additions that ask God to "remember us for life" and to "write us in the Book of Life." I avoided Unetane Tokef altogether on both days, going home right after the silent Musaph Amidah and returning later.

On my way to and from synagogue each time, I imagined what an almost-16-year-old Avi would have been like walking beside me. At times, I used his Mahzor, the one that he had wanted his name inscribed in, but that we did not have the opportunity to do.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

I managed, somehow, to get through it.

I was able, with great difficulty, to conduct Avi's unveiling service this afternoon in front of at least 40 people. It took me a long time to finish reciting some of the prayers, including the Malei.

People, including three of Avi's classmates, lingered around Avi's grave in silence for quite a while. What could anyone say?

I made it known towards the end that I'm not looking forward to Rosh haShana and that I would find the Unetaneh Tokef prayer especially difficult, even more painful than Yizkor. I may simply go home before its recitation.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

"Are you looking forward to the holidays?"

Don't ever ask one who has lost a child that question.

No, I'm not looking forward to Rosh haShana, with it's greetings of "May you be written and sealed in the Book of Life," or to Sukkot, for which we are commanded, "And you shall be joyous."

I don't think that I'll be able to stand hearing, "May you be written and sealed for a good year." The first Jewish year without Avi cannot be a good year.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Photos From the Basketball Tornament (Click here.)

The pix linked above were taken by Rabbi Yitzchok Adler. The first photo shows Uri Bilmes displaying his tournament T-shirt, with Avi's name on it.

Menachem is in the 37th photo, wearing a red version of the T-shirt.

The organizers, Steve and Viviane Bunin, are shown in photos 31 and 32.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Nice Turnout Today

The Ari Grashin Memorial Tournament had a fine turnout today, with team T-shirts made up with Avi's name.

This is just the type of day that Avi would have enjoyed, which made the occasion both happy and sad for me. At the pizza lunch that followed the games, I knew exactly which table Avi would have sat at with his friends. He would have been thrilled to meet Howie Schwab of ESPN. Perhaps, he could have "stumped The Schwab."

But Avi wasn't there and I cried inside for him.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

This is the Weekend of the Ari Grashin Memorial Tournament

Last night, Beth David Synagogue hosted for Shabbat dinner David Grashin, the father of the late Ari, and a group of Ari's friends and a cousin from Seattle and two others whom he had met during his religious studies. They were all here for the Ari Grashin Memorial 3-on-3 Basketball Tournament, which will take place tomorrow, Sunday, September 10 at St. Joseph's College in West Hartford.

Why in Connecticut and not in Ari's hometown of Seattle? They flew here to honor the memory of my Avi. In fact, David, who gave the sermon this morning, came in all the way from his current home, Anchorage, Alaska, to be here. ESPN's Steve Bunim and his new wife, Viviane, members of Beth David, organized this weekend's events.

Monday, September 04, 2006

The Monument Has Been Installed

I visited Avi's grave this morning to inspect his new slant marker, which was installed last week. I just stared at it for many minutes, thinking that Avi had deserved better in so many ways. He should not be dead.

The dedication ceremony will take place on Sunday afternoon, September 17 at 4:00 PM.

I'll post a photo of the stone when I can.
Zichron Avraham Yehudah - Blogged