Imagining Avi at Menachem's Engagement "Vort"

Earlier this month, Menachem announced his engagement. The bride's family hosted a traditional, simple reception called in Yiddish a vort.

I conjured up images of Avi, imagining what he would have been doing to share in his brother's simcha. When family photos were being taken, I knew who for the first time was missing.

On the way back from New Jersey, the van seemed empty without Avi there playing his video games or causing some excitement.

"There will never be a day...

...in which you won't be thinking about your son." So said the late Johnny Carson to Ed MacMahon when the latter lost his son. Carson, too, was a bereaved father.

I caught an interview last night with Ed MacMahon, who confirmed the truth of Carson's words.

I can do so as well.

Every new day that comes is yet another day that Avi is deprived of enjoying.

The CT Jewish Ledger's Story About the Basketball Tournament

Please click above for the current issue's story.

When I was interviewed for the story, the reporter asked me, "Would Avi have approved of the tournament?"

I responded, "Avi would rather not be in this situation."

I did go on to say, however, that Avi would have supported basketball games to benefit others.

How can anyone really be sure what a dead person would or would not have liked, other than to say, "Avi would rather be alive"?

Newsweek, My Turn: "Celebrating the Pity Of Brotherly Love"

Last week's "My Turn" segment in Newsweek (please click above), written by a youngest brother's relationship with his two, older siblings, reminded me of Avi's relationship with Menachem. Menachem applied his own version of "tough love" to keep Avi on the "derekh." Avi was never afraid to maintain his independence and to stick up for himself.

BTW, Menachem announced his engagement last week. This happy occasion, however, made me at times feel Avi's loss more intensely. This will be a simcha that will leave Avi behind, one that he cannot share.